It’s no secret that backdoor play isn’t reserved just for gay men. People of all genders and sexual preferences get off on anal play and stimulation. And why not? Your backdoor is filled with numerous nerve endings that deserve your attention. When you open the backdoor for anal play, you’re unlocking an entire world of naughty fun.
Are you a confident, heterosexual male who enjoys a finger or plug nestled in your bum? Good for you! Have you tried anal beads and butt plugs but still crave something a little… deeper? Pegging is a popular practice among straight guys who are fascinated by all things anal. Thanks to the prostate gland (P-spot) a man’s ass is the gateway to unmatched pleasure and body-shaking orgasms.
Are you ready to shed those fears and break stereotypes by letting your woman fuck you with a strap-on? If so, you’re our kind of guy! And we’re about to teach you everything you need to know about what pegging is, how it’s done, and advice on asking your partner to do you in the butt.
So, tighten your strap-on, grab some lube, and let’s explore the world of pegging for beginners.
What is Pegging?
Pegging is a sex act that involves a woman performing anal sex on a man using a strap-on dildo.
It’s no accident that there are countless toys on the market designed specifically for anal play from butt plugs and anal beads to prostate massagers, pegging dildos, and strap-on harnesses. For straight men who have graduated from finger insertion to toys and are ready for the real deal, there’s only one thing left to do -- let your girl fuck you from behind!
The best part is, pegging can be as exciting and arousing for her as it is for him. While there’s obviously no nerves in the dildo itself, the sense of control and empowerment that comes with fucking your partner silly is pretty hot. Most men have some of their most intense orgasms during pegging. What lady wouldn’t want to be the source of such amazing pleasure? But for those girls who want something for themselves, strapless dildos insert into your vagina and some even offer clit stimulation so that you’re getting fucked while fucking -- talk about a win-win!
Let’s Talk About Sex (with a strap-on)
Since pegging is slightly unconventional, it might be difficult for either partner to bring it up. If the guy suggests it, he might worry that his girl thinks he’s gay. If she brings it up and the guy agrees, he may also worry that she thinks he’s gay.
Let’s squash all this by saying chill the F out! Just because you’re a guy who enjoys anal penetration, it doesn’t mean your gay. And ladies, your man isn’t gay just because he wants to explore a different erogenous zone or experiment sexually. In fact, both partners should feel pretty damn privileged that their partners are comfortable enough to have this discussion with them. It takes a deep level of trust and honesty to ask your woman to fuck you in the ass (just sayin').
Remember this: pegging has nothing to do with your sexuality and all to do with your sexual satisfaction. Like any other sex act that feels awesome and gives you an intense orgasm, focus on the pleasure that pegging offers, not on what the sex act represents.
Ladies, has your man dropped hints that he’s interested in kinkier anal play? Does he talk about it more openly after a few drinks? If your man lets you dabble downstairs with your fingers or even toys, chances are, he’ll be open to the idea of pegging.
Speaking of drinks, sometimes, timing is everything. No, we’re not suggesting you get your man drunk and do him from behind. But, a few drinks might help your man relax and get his sexual juices flowing (literally). You know your man best. Tease and please all his favorite erogenous zones. Give him a sensual massage or toe-curling BJ. Throw on some porn or sex lingerie. The more turned on your guy is, the more likely he’ll be to let you have your way with him. If you’re both already open to the idea, choose a strap-on harness, pegging dildo, or strapless dildo together and see where the night takes you!
Keep the Lines of Communication Open
Once you’ve broached the subject of pegging, your work isn’t done. You need to keep the lines of communication open during the entire sex act. Don’t worry, talking during sex is actually a huge turn-on for most people.
Before you get started, air out all your concerns, inhibitions, and questions. Make sure you both know where you stand. Once things get going between the sheets, go slow. This is especially important with anal play since the inner walls of the rectum are very sensitive. Too much too soon could result in an unwanted injury and a major buzz kill.
Ladies, be sure to explain what you’re doing as you do it. Ask your man how he’s feeling and what he needs. Also play close attention to his body cues. Does he seem relaxed and horny or uptight and nervous? Guys, be sure to speak up. Your woman isn’t a mind reader. If it hurts, tell her to slow down. If things are getting dry, ask for more lube. You have a mouth, so use it (for more than just licking pussy).
Pegging is a very intimate and vulnerable experience that, when done right, could actually strengthen your communication skills and relationship in general. Who knew?
Is Pegging Just Fun for Him?
To put it simply, no!
Sure, straight men who are open to the idea of pegging are obviously secure in their sexuality and open to experimenting new forms of pleasure. We think that’s amazing! Some guys are even turned on by the idea of taking the more submissive role for a change. So, what do women get out of pegging?
For starters, you get to wear the pants for once (or should we say strap-on?) Is your guy the more aggressive, dominant partner in bed? Although a stereotypical dynamic, it’s more common than you think. But sometimes, the lady wants to take charge and pegging is the perfect way to do it. Pegging puts you in the driver’s seat of your man’s pleasure -- and your own. Do you love giving blow jobs and watching your guy’s eyes roll into the back of his head? Do you get-off on riding him cowgirl until he explodes inside you? Pegging gives a whole new meaning to the concept of delivering maximum pleasure to your man. The good news is, some strap-ons and strapless dildos are designed to deliver clitoral stimulation and some pretty intense orgasms for her as well. Score!
Pegging Tips for Beginners
Before you tighten your harness and get down to business, consider these tips for a successful pegging session.
Choosing the Right Equipment
Not all strap-ons, harnesses, and pegging dildos are created equal. There are traditional strap-on harnesses, pegging dildos, and even strapless varieties that offer stimulation for her.
The traditional set-up is a strap-on harness and compatible pegging dildo. Harnesses come in a variety of styles and materials and sit comfortably on the wearers’ hips. Some harnesses even offer a vibrator pocket that perfectly fits a bullet vibrator while delivering clit stimulation for her.
Strapless dildos are designed with both partner’s pleasure in mind. One side of the dildo is inserted in him while the other end is curved and inserted into her. Now, your dildo is securely in place offering double-penetration that intensifies your pleasure and connection.
The best strap-on set-up makes the woman feel like a powerful, sexy, and plain badass. The last thing you want is to feel awkward or self-conscious. Make sure your man is comfortable with the size of the pegging dildo as well. Start small and gradually get bigger (if that’s what he’s into).
The More Lube, the Better
Lube, lube, and more lube. We can’t stress this enough! All types of anal play require lube. Unlike the female vagina, your ass isn’t self-lubricating, which means you’ll need a quality lube to enjoy a safe and comfortable experience.
Once you find a lube you like, don’t be afraid to use it! The old “dab-will-do-ya” method doesn’t work during pegging. One coat is rarely enough -- especially when it comes to pegging. No matter how into it your guy is, this may be his first time taking it in the ass. His muscles will be tight and you’ll need A LOT of lube to help ease things in -- literally. You need to get the lube into the anal canal, which means covering the tip of the dildo with lube, inserting it, and then removing it. Add more lube and repeat this process. With each stroke, you’re adding more lube to the canal and hopefully getting a little deeper each time.
There are also certain lubes made specifically for anal play and pegging. Silicone lube is often best because it’s thick and long-lasting. If your toys and pegging dildo are made of silicone, you’ll need to choose a different, water-based lube. (Silicone lubes and silicone toys don’t mesh).
Water-based lube works fine, just keep in mind that without natural lubricant from the receiver, water-based lube can get sticky. If things start to dry up or get sticky, don’t worry, just add a little water to reactivate the lube so you can get back to business!
It’s About the Journey, Not Just the Destination
The foreplay and build-up to full penetration is half the fun, so don’t rush the process. Anal play especially is about going slow, listening to your body, and enjoying the entire experience. Anal stretching kits are designed specifically for this purpose. After all, the anal canal is only so big. It takes plenty of practice to stretch and expand wide enough to accept even a small pegging dildo.
Start off slow with other forms of anal play -- experiment with tongues, fingers, plugs, and beads, and more. Once you’re ready and lubed up, you still need to go slow. Don’t just jam a full-size (or even a small) dildo up your partner’s butt. Trust us, it won’t feel good and could potentially ruin the entire experience for both of you.
Start by letting him take control. Let him insert the tip of the dildo. He can gauge what feels good and what doesn’t. He can also anticipate any strange (yes, shit happens, literally). Once his body gets used to this foreign object, he can relinquish control over control to you. At this point, start with slow, gentle movements. Remember, keep talking. Ask him how he’s feeling and tell him each time you change rhythm or position. Pay close attention to his body cues and how he reacts to your movements.
This complete trust and vulnerability combined with exploring a new sexual experience together is what makes pegging a pretty amazing and intimate sex act.
Stimulate All His Erogenous Zones
Yes, anal sex and pegging feel great, but the anal canal isn’t the only backdoor erogenous zone to focus on. Don’t forget about his testicles, perineum, and cock. Speaking of his cock, don’t be discouraged if he loses his erection. This is common during anal penetration and doesn’t mean he’s not aroused. Remember, keep the lines of communication open so there’s no question over his level of pleasure or discomfort.
Tickling, teasing, and tugging all of his sensitive parts will only intensify the experience for both of you. You might even touch-on an erogenous zone he never knew he had! The more aroused he is, the easier it’ll be to gain entry to his forbidden zone.
Experiment with Different Positions
It’s all in the delivery. Certain sexual positions work best for pegging and you won’t know until you try them. See which position he naturally takes (on all fours, on his belly, etc.) and follow his lead.
Need some pointers?
Start by laying on your side, spooning your guy from behind. This position is not only comforting for him but it conveniently aligns his ass with your tool. You can also have your man lay on his back with his legs up or draped over your shoulders if he wants to take a truly submissive role. This position gives you the perfect view of his face and package. Eye contact is a great way to read his body language and mood.
You can also try pegging him on his stomach and straddling him or you sitting down and him sliding onto the dildo either face- or ass-first.
Remember, Pegging is Supposed to Be FUN!
Being nervous about pegging (or any new sex act) is completely normal. But now that you’re armed with the information you need to both bring it up and get started, things should go more smoothly! (The right lube helps with this too.)
Ladies, don’t be alarmed if your man asks for it and guys, don’t be afraid to speak up and tell your woman what you want. Remember, sex is about intimacy and having intense orgasms. How you achieve it is your business! Don’t be afraid to be honest and vulnerable with your partner about your sexual fantasies and needs.
Pegging is about patience, trust, and open communication. Guys, after your woman is done giving you the pounding of your life, turn her over and return the favor!